
Nobody likes a sad, skinny baby...nobody!
Whether I’m ordering a meal at a restaurant or cooking up something at home, enjoying what I eat brings me immense satisfaction. On the other hand, being disappointed in a meal sends me into tantrum mode.
I expect certain things out of a dining experience. I’m realistic about the standards I hold for each place, from the local taco bar to the five star steak house. What I've decided is that it's about a perfect balance between service, food quality, ambiance and price. That may seem like a lot to juggle, but Houston is a big city with a plethora of restaurants to choose from. There’s no reason to expect anything less than the best.
If you strip my needs down to the bare essentials, you'll find I'm very much like a baby; I love tasty food and I love to be happy. If an experience doesn't generate a sense of fulfillment for those two basic needs...you're gonna hear me cry.
Nobody likes a sad, skinny baby...nobody!
Dolce Vita - Give it a Try
The Fat: When I was still in law school, an old family friend from Tampa - who now practices in Houston - used to scoop me up on Wednesday nights and take me out to dinner with all of his lawyer buddies. I was too consumed with the homework, on which I'd always fallen dangerously behind, to really care about what or where I ate dinner any given night of the week. Basically any place that wasn't Jack in the Box was a welcomed treat. Wednesday after Wednesday, we would dine at some of Houston's favorites, but one place stood out from all the rest. Dolce Vita.
The converted old house on Westheimer is fully equipped with a fine staff, a great drink menu and a perfectly adorable selection of inventive pizzas, delectable cheeses, creative vegetable dishes and unique salads.
You know when you fall in love for the first time and everything before that moment becomes a blur, a mere cliffnote of who you used to be? Well that's sort of how I felt the first time I experienced a Taleggio pizza.
I don't even think I'd ordered it, but somehow it appeared on my table or on someones table nearby. Either way, I was hypnotized. The intoxicating aroma permeated everything around me, slowly converting the quaint Montrose restaurant into the mothership of every pizza desire I would have from that moment on.
The Taleggio, named after the fantastic Italian cheese that oozes with a brie like fluidity all over the warm crust, carries a strong aroma balanced by a smooth and mildly fruity flavor. The thin crust is topped with fresh arugula, ripe pear slices and finally - and most importantly - drizzled with an erotically pungent truffle oil.
I often joke that when I order that pizza, everyone around me hates me for one of two reasons; they're upset that they can't smell anything other than my pizza or they're jealous that they don't have my pizza. Believe me, it's the latter. Alright, alright...so there are 12 other pizzas on the menu, but I gotta rave about my fave!
You'll find other fun pizzas like the Vongole (clams, garlic, cherry tomatoes and mozzarella) and the Zucca (butternut squash, panchetta and smoked mozzarella.) And for the creatures of habit, there are creative versions of the classics like the Siciliana (olives and capers) and the Calabrese (spicy salami) which is just a gourmet spin on a pepperoni pizza.
Dolce Vita also serves a limited number of colorful entrees and pastas that will satisfy any non pizza lover. Be sure to try my favorite Verdura; Shaved Brussel Sprouts with Pecorino. This delicious starter is dense, flavorful and will totally change your opinion of the historically blackballed sprout.
While it's not a super casual pizza joint, it does offer a relaxed vibe for a fairly diverse clientele. The prices are fair. You can share an appetizer, a pizza and two glasses of wine for about $50. So if you want to jump up a notch or two from your regular pizza routine and enjoy a bit of Italian authenticity, this is your place.
P.S. Parking is pretty black and white at Dolce Vita. If you want your car parked in a parking lot, go valet all the way. If you don't mind a super short stroll (my personal favorite - heck, sometimes I even walk from home!) find a little parking spot in the neighborhood just behind the restaurant. Be mindful of the "No Parking" signs and you'll be fine. The way this place gets jammed up on a good night, you'll be able to walk to your car long before valet could get it to you!
Location: 500 Westheimer 713.520.8222
Star Pizza - Give it a Try
The Fat: I’ll let you in on a little secret, I’m a creature of habit. When visiting a new restaurant, my goal is to find a gem on the menu that drives me wild and order it every time thereafter. On the other hand, if I happen to get something mediocre, I keep trying, now and again, until I’m floored or disgusted. It’s pretty simple, I’m all or nothing. Luckily I found my gem on the first go-a-round. Five years running, I love Star Pizza every time.
Joe’s Pizza’s (insert angelic song here)! On a hand tossed crust this pizza is the bomb. It’s topped with sauteed spinach, roasted garlic and a ridiculous amount of gooey mozzarella. It’s not something you want to eat on a date, unless you just don’t care who you’re kissing. Order this pie with a Greek salad (any salad is enough to share) and it’s pretty much all you need to get fat and happy.
You can get any of their pies on white or whole wheat crust (chose whole wheat.) And yes, I tend to be a veggie lover when it comes to pizza; Star Pizza’s got the corner on that! But fear not - this is not a tree hugger pizza shack. They have many a meatier option and will gladly make a "half & half" pizza for those of us who rub elbows with the carnivorous type.
As it is with every decent pizzeria, Star Pizza offers some meaty, fail safe toppings like pepperoni, bacon, sausage and ham in practically any combination a meat lover can think of. But, everyone knows that "Pizza + Thinking = What’s the Point?" The thing is, this gourmet joint designed such creative combinations that one needn’t even think too hard. Just check out their menu, it’s perfectly planned to accommodate the lot of us.
If you want to dine in, there are two great locations. The original location is close to 59 and Shepard. It’s based in a quaint, two story house that’s been slinging out pies since 1976. The newer location is just on the edge of The Heights, right on Washington.
The restaurant service is just what you’d expect. They’re kind, they say hello, they get your order and they serve you up some fine food. It’s pizza, ya’ll. Just go and get it.
P.S. If you can’t make it in, the delivery service is friendly and fast. So, if you’re lucky enough to live anywhere near their delivery range, having pizza delivered from any other place is a shame.
Locations: #1 2111 Norfolk (near Shepard and 59)
#2 3600 Washington (The Heights)
Candelari's - Made Me Cry

The Fat: There's just something about pizza. Eating it makes you feel like a kid, no matter how evolved your choice of toppings has become over the years.
My friends and I had never been to Candelari's on Washington, so we decided to give it a shot. We had some very important TV to watch that night and so we opted for take out. After reading over several selections, we called and ordered the Arugula pizza from their special menu and the King Mike's from their standard menu. We chose the 5-Grain crust for both pizzas; it just makes me feel better to know that each sinful slice of pizza has a little something healthy in it.
While we waited for our friend to bring back the pies, we set out plates, knives, and napkins, all in eager anticipation of the feast to come. As soon as he arrived with the pick up order, we gathered around the boxes he'd placed on the kitchen counter. OK, so you know that warm wave of excitement that washes over you right before you pounce on a fresh, hot pizza? Well, it dissipated about 2.5 seconds after we opened the boxes.
Here's why:
- The featured Arugula pizza (I use the term "pizza" lightly) was nothing more than cold white crust with a mound of dry arugula thrown on top.
- The other pizza was nearing room temperature.
- We didn't get the 5 grain crust we ordered.
We all agreed to look past the obvious shortcomings and give these babies a try. I mean, we were famished and totally ready to tear up some pizza, we weren't gonna give up on these pies so quickly. We poked around the Arugula pizza for a second. Lacking any apparent trace of cheese or oil, we tilted the box ever so slightly only to watch the dry greens roll directly off the dry crust, it was entirely inedible. We pushed that box aside and headed for the King Mike's. One bite in and my friend (who worked at a pizzeria for years) exclaimed "this one is stale, but it taste almost as good as a frozen pizza...almost."
Picture this, I'm in my pajamas at my friend's house. (We do this sometimes - just get super lazy on a Friday night and lounge out in our pjs. Whatever...don't judge...that's my job.) We have a ridiculous night of self indulgent TV shows lined up to watch. We've got Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream in the freezer and instead of enjoying a warm slice of delicious pizza, I'm standing in the kitchen holding a stiff piece of bread, one recently abandoned by some leafy greens. Boo! Needless to say, I was bummed. Food has the potential to make or break my day. I'm simple that way.
Feeling a bit broken, I realized I could call Candelari's and let them know about this. After all, I really care about restaurants, I want them to do well or at least have a chance to redeem themselves if they don't. Surely this is not the way they always serve food, surely there was a misstep in the kitchen, surely someone would be grateful to be notified...right?
I decide to call up and ask to speak with the manager. Knowing how people tend to react when they feel attacked I was careful to explain myself in a friendly, considerate voice. I made it clear that we weren't asking for a refund and we had no intention of driving back to return the food, we just thought he'd like to know what we were given so that he could take the appropriate steps to tighten up the product.
In so many words, he assures me that their pizzas were supposed to be made that way. "With bread and lettuce and nothing else?" I ask. I get an answer that makes no sense to me. "With the wrong crust?" I remind him. I get another answer that makes no sense. "Cold?" I ask. Finally he apologizes, swears that lots of people love their food and tells us that we should try them again sometime.
"Is he nuts?" I ask...just after hanging up the phone.
P.S. Every restaurant has a bad order, a bad night, or even a bad idea for a special "pizza" now and again. In any case, here's a tip; don't try to cover up the fact that a sub par dish left your kitchen. If that's your stance when a customer complains, you are basically telling your customer that they will never like your food. Why? Because you know that thing you hated about our food? Yep, it's supposed to be like that....Oh and come back soon! Well, I already spent over $30 to give you a shot and I would have probably given Candelari's another shot too - but if that's the best they can do, why bother?