Red Lion - Give it a Try

The Skinny: Red Lion is a lot like a good woman. They serve you hearty food, good beer and, most importantly, they do the dishes.

The Fat: Alas, my fair feminists; The Fat Baby is, in fact, a female. So let's put our swords away and just enjoy the tag line.

Red Lion is a super-fine, UK inspired restaurant. While notions of English fare typically muster up thoughts of clumped potatoes, over cooked slices of blood sausage and oil drenched fillets of fried fish, Red Lion takes a cue from the best of the homeland and combines it with the things we all love on this side of the pond.

My friend and I decided to go to Red Lion after a long day at work and on, what ended up to be, a super chilly evening. The fact that this place is hidden along a crazy busy street like Shepherd is pretty amazing. While we had to wait for our table, the foliage laden patio shielded us from the hellacious traffic and made us feel like we were acres away from the city.

The temperature was a different story. For such a popular restaurant, you'd hope they would have had their adorable fire pit a-blazing on such a cold night, when the spillover of clientele was so likely. No such luck. The lot of us hungry folk had to wait on the frigid front porch for, what we were quoted was, a 45-50 minute wait. Grand design? Maybe they just wanted us to experience what it felt like, back in the day, to be waiting for rations of porridge on the streets of London? Naaah! The fire pit was just broken.

As it turns out, a table for two is far easier to get at this meeting place than a table for three or more. That was made abundantly clear when our 45 minute wait melted into 10 and we were privileged enough to take what amounted to “the walk of shame” past our hungry predecessors in parties of three or more. The scowls were kept to a minimum though; everyone’s pretty pleasant there.

Beers in hand, we were herded through a maze of tables into the back end of the pub-like restaurant, close to a huge, toasty fireplace. As many people as were seated, were standing around chatting and clinking glasses. I’d visited England before, but this felt more to me like the late night pubs I’d been to in Ireland – everyone just eating, drinking and laughing out loud. There were no bar fights about to break out, but the vibe was definitely playful…especially for a Thursday.

So…the food! Here it is. While their menu is pretty amazing, with everything from Pan Seared Chicken Breast to the Scotch Egg Dinner to all the Indian faves that are so indigenous to the UK culinary scene; Monday through Thursday they spotlight one killer menu item that makes you want to go every night because each is such a damn good deal.

Mondays: All Cheeseburgers and Mini Burgers, $5 for burger and fries – beat that Jack in the Box! – usually $11.
Tuesdays: Bowl of mussels, $7 for one pound of mussels doused in garlic, wine & butter sauce and served with crusty garlic bread - usually $12…and rightfully so!
Wednesdays: Curry Night, $14 for Curry and a Pint – usually $20 for both.
Thursdays: Steak Night, $18 for an 8oz filet mignon and two sides – usually $28.

My friend and I ordered a bowl of the mussels to share while we waited for our Filet Mignon, which we also shared. I’ve had mussels more times than I can count, but I’m fairly sure that Red Lion hit all the high points you’d expect from the garlic & white wine drenched dish. With beers, bread, our perfectly cooked stake and our sides of asparagus and super awesome bacon mashed potatoes, it was the perfect meal.

Our waitress, Dawn, was pretty much the coolest gal ever. She was handling a swarming room of people and we never wanted for a thing. She was friendly, sincere, and an all around flawless server. I just love it when a server seems more like an essential cog to the machine than an ornament on the face of an establishment. Dawn was essential and we loved her for it. She made it all work for us. And to be quite honest, great service sometimes just takes the cake, doesn’t it?

P.S.: So I returned to RL on mussel night and as it turned out the $12 bowl was far better than the $7 bowl. We had to return our first bowl because the mussels were shriveled, way overcooked and the sauce was a deep rust color...an indication that these babies had stayed on the stove far too long. I rarely return things, no matter how bad, but I was craving some of those yummy mussels and I knew this batch was a fluke. When the waitress finally checked on us, she swept up the old bowl and promised to return with a new one.

Luckily, I was right and the replacement bowl was much better and more like the mussels we'd had on Steak Night; plump and drenched in a light wine sauce. The only problem was that out of about 20 mussels, nine (yep, you heard me, NINE) shells were sealed shut and inedible. Now, I'm no math wiz, but that was about half of our order. Needless to say, I was a little heartbroken.

Our waitress (she was no Dawn) didn't check on us again until we were sitting there with half a bowl of unopened shells. As she picked up our bowl, she begrudgingly offered us another serving. We politely declined and just asked for the bill. She did take the mussels off the check, but that’s not really the point. While it was a nice gesture, I really don’t dine out expecting free food, I just expect good food.

I will return to RL because I love fun places, good beer and overall their food is quite tasty…plus I just adored those mussels on Steak Night too much to think I could never have them again. Always, hopeful!

Location: 2316 S Shepherd Dr 713.529.8390

Rudyard's Pub - Give it a Try

The Skinny: Aside from the down right relaxed atmosphere and great beer, this place serves some fairly good bar food.

The Fat: This little hole-in-the-wall pub quickly became one of my favorites when I first moved to Houston five years ago. I would drag myself over there pretty regularly, after a long night of studying, for a few beers and an eclectic assortment of live music . Then one day, when 3 (or4 or5) Stella's just wouldn't stop my tummy from rumbling, I realized...there's a kitchen here...with a full menu!

I started out small; I'd order a basket of super crunchy tater tots (a deep fried, must have!) with ketchup or crispy fried zucchini with a side of ranch dressing to take the edge off. Oh, I wasn't gonna get serious about this food. After all how good could the food be in a place where you feel like you're overdressed if you're wearing a brand new pair of jeans and a t-shirt without holes?

Fast forward to the present. Nothing about their food has changed except my opinion of how good it is. Get any burger and you're sure to be stuffed, satisfied, and ready for a nap. They serve great sandwiches, hot subs, salads and quesadillas. Try the garden burger. They're not made from scratch but, aside from the shape of the preformed patty, you would never know.

The Pasta Special rocks my world. The recipe changes, but it always gets me smilin'. Thick linguine smothered in a magical, creamy sauce and peppered with fun veggies (i can only seem to remember the corn) and topped with juicy grilled chicken. It comes with two pieces of cheesy, crusty bread so you can sop up any of the yumminess you may have left behind.

Sure, everything tastes better when you've had too much to drink. That's why the drive through line at Taco Bell is the longest at 2:15 am. But, Rudz has some pretty good bar food, with or without the beer buzz.

P.S. The reasons I love Rudyard's are simple. I can go on any given night and head upstairs to listen to local bands, sit downstairs on the patio and eat, or just pop by for one too many beers...and then walk home.

Location: 2010 Waugh Drive

Onion Creek - Give it a Try

The Skinny: The beer selection is top notch, the atmosphere is cozy and Austinesque and the burgers are great* (do read below for my beef with their burgers.)

The Fat: I’ve been a lover of Onion Creek for quite some time. I can head there midday for a cup of coffee or go there late night for a couple of beers. The enormous multi level patio deck offers plenty of seating with outdoor tables, chairs and picnic benches. Inside, you’ll find more tables closer to the bar and a little lounge section off to the side filled with mismatched couches and a Packman machine.

Overall the menu is pretty expansive for this little Heights patio bar. They offer an assortment of individual pizzas, hot dogs, sandwiches, salads and a decent number of vegetarian selections. I am, however, a loyal fan of their burgers - the OC burger to be exact. It’s layered with white cheddar, avocado, bacon, lettuce, tomato, red onion and chipotle mayo.

Burgers and sandwiches are served with your choice of chips or potato salad. Now, listen to me when I say this...DO NOT LEAVE without trying the potato salad! This creamy concoction tastes like a stuffed potato that’s been mixed, mashed, chilled and scooped out for your side dish pleasure.

So back to the burgers*. Here’s the catch. Every once in a while, they’re simply out of burgers. I have to say that, in all the years I’ve ever been to Onion Creek, this only happened once. The rub is that it happened on the one night I took seven friends there specifically for their burgers. On the way there I’m like "The burgers are so great...You have to try the burgers...I’m getting a burger...Burgers this and burgers that"...only to find out that there was not a burger to be had. What? Who runs out of burgers at 8pm on a Friday? Apparently Onion Creek does from time to time. Yep, sort of felt like an ass.

From what I was told when I asked the guy at the bar, Onion Creek has a pretty small kitchen, so they get their burgers cooked down the street at their sister restaurant, Dry Creek (great burgers too, go figure). When the place gets busy, sometimes they just can’t keep up with the burger demand and they fall a bit short.

After a couple of beers and some SERIOUS whining, I settled for a pathetic variation of a Panini. Panini, as we’ve come to know and love them, have one deliciously distinguishing quality - those babies are grilled to have a nice, hearty crunch. Some places may grill them more than others, but any way you toss it, Panini get some grillin’.

Now, I’m not sure if it was a busy night, but my "Pathetinini" - as I like to call it - was made of two pieces of soft round bread, whose tops had been sliced off to resemble Panini bread. Ok, so I’m into working things out on the fly, but can I get some grill action? Uh, none? It was so sad. I think my friends and I actually laughed, (out loud) pointing and criticising, my soft, white sandwich when it got to the table. Sure we behaved like cruel children on a playground poking fun at the one kid wearing faux converse tennis shoes, but I asked for a Panini God dammit, not some sandwich with a star drawn on the side of it.

I won't even get into the Asian Wrap my friend ordered...Ok, I will get into it. This wrap was filled with little more than lettuce and dry Ramen Noodels. Literally! You know those mechanically bent, white noodles that (once water is added) suddenly take on the form of nutritional and totally acceptable meals you used to eat during your first few years of college? While some of us love the taste of $.15 noodles, (myself included) I can't think of anyone who can figure out how $.15 noodles plus lettuce = $7.25. I don't care how bad you are at math!

I love this place overall. And after all is said and done, I'll continue to go back because, if you know what to order, the food is great. The people are friendly and the place is alive with a certain spirit the makes you feel like you're at a backyard party. While the pizzas and appetizers aren't bad either, I say order a burger for your main dish. Give me a burger, a beer and some awesome weather and I’m all about Onion Creek.

P.S. You may want to call ahead and make sure they're stocked up on beef before you get there because if you're anything like me, once you crave a burger...nothing else will do.

Location :3106 White Oak Blvd.