Montrose Chinese Restaurant - Give it a Try

The Skinny: Skip a trip to Houston's Chinatown for the same meal, same deal...but with better bathrooms.

The Fat: Overall, I'm not a huge fan of Chinese food. Like the common pizza, if Chinese food is not made extraordinarily well, it becomes a diluted, US influenced version of its original form.

While we are one of the largest cities in the country, let's face it, our Chinatown (tucked between 59 and Beltway 8)is vastly different from those of our bustling counterparts partly because it can't be reached with the same fluidity. That being said, if you're up for an outer loop adventure it's not half bad. There are some pretty neat shops, bakeries and restaurants.

On the other hand, if you're an inner loop homebody looking for some inexpensive Chinese with FREE delivery, then Montrose Chinese Restaurant will satisfy your urge.

They offer what you might expect from a Chinese joint - anything from a simple Wonton soup to flavorful Crispy Orange Flavored Beef to a Club Seafood Delight which includes all the seafood gems like prawns to lobster.

Vegetarians and meat lovers alike can choose from a considerable number of entrees, appetizers, and soup selections which is one of the things that makes Chinese food such a great option. Their entrees - all with tender meat and/or crisp veggies and rich sauces in the $8 to $13 range - make this place an anchor of the fast food variety.

Forget the Pork and Vegetable Dumplings. The first time we went my friend and I had just finished a lazy day of bike riding. I had seen some dumplings at the local grocery the day before and simply couldn't get them out of my head. This hole-in-the-wall place right by my house came to mind, so we made our way there and ordered the Vegetable Dumplings.

The sweet lady working the counter became very anxious when I ordered them, telling me it would take at least 10 minutes. I assured her that I could wait.

The loveliness of a well steamed dumpling is how translucent, slippery and delicate it becomes when it's had enough time to cook. When these dumplings arrived, however, the dough was - for lack of a better description - al dente. The filling was ideal, but each bite exposed bits of the tough, white dough that had remained untouched by the essential steam.

I've been three times now and each time since, I've asked them to steam the dumplings thoroughly. I politely express to them that time is not an issue and that I like my dumplings "well done". Nonetheless, I get the same outcome.

They're so concerned with getting your order to you in a flash that they sacrifice the necessary steaming time. While a "fast food" mentality is invaluable for a place with only four tables, it takes vital a toll on this one dish.

Everything else is hot, well cooked and bursting with flavor. They serve up everything you love about Chinese; tender meat, fluffy rice, rich sauces and spicy accents.

The dining area is adequate, bathrooms are clean, service is great and restaurant is tidy - but the small space looks not unlike the inside of a hospital waiting room, so if you love going out to eat this is not an ideal destination.

I give this place a thumbs up mostly because they're fast, they deliver for free and the food's not half bad for the price. Take out and delivery is when Montrose Chinese Restaurant really shines. Your to-go bag will be filled with chopsticks, all the necessary sauces and fortune cookies, without question.

Location: 1952 Montrose Blvd. - 713.529.5288

P.S. If you want extraordinary dumplings, but don't mind the drive to Chinatown, try Lai Lai Dumpling House. They serve yummy, yummy dumplings in an yucky, yucky place. There are dusty silk flowers everywhere and it looks like an ideal spot for making drug deals, but I'm not a scaredy cat. I live for good food...so why not die for it?

La Fendee - Toss Up

The Skinny: Not bad if you dig fugitive fare.

The Fat: I live in Montrose. That little fact affords me the luxury of riding my bike or walking to many of my favorite spots. So many restaurants, shops, coffee houses and bars are mere paces away from my humble abode.

After a long day at work, a much needed jog and a good long shower, my friend called and asked me if I wanted to grab a bite to eat. "Heck yeah," I said. I was hungry. Being the blossoming food critic (and unavoidable control freak) that I am, he "allowed" me to pick the place. I suggested that we walk to a destination. The only time Houston is good for a stroll in the summer is after the sun goes down and I was in the mood for a stroll.

I recently put up a poll on my blog asking readers to "vote" on which Mediterranean restaurant they'd like to read about next. However, we were dining well before the poll had expired. Nonetheless, Mediterranean food was on my mind. My friend suggested we go to the place that had accumulated the least number of votes so that when the election was over I could still go to the place that "won." That brings us to La Fendee; a low score and a slow walk from my house.

Before we left, I looked the restaurant up on-line to see what time they closed. You never want to walk to a place on an empty stomach only to find out that you have to walk somewhere else! We arrived at 9:10. They closed at 10pm, perfect!

As usual I had a hard time trying to figure out what to order. It was my first time and I wanted to peruse the menu a bit. While I'm tossing around the standard Mediterranean selections, I noticed that two of the three tables next to us had hookahs. They were sipping and puffing away, laughing and having a ball... I was hungry, but mostly I was jealous. I ordered a hookah. My friend wanted to order it after the meal, but we just figured if we ordered it first we could smoke it before and after. Good idea, right?

La Fendee fills their hookahs with flavored tobacco - you can choose from strawberry, cherry, apple or mint. While I wasn't fond of any but the mint (but too afraid to get a menthol hookah), I asked for a mix of strawberry and mint. I figured that would somehow make it alright.

Now, I've never smoked from a hookah before, but I know that there is some superb tobacco to be had in this world. I don't think La Fendee knew that though. The fruit smell (and taste) was vaguely reminiscent of a car deodorizer, the kind one would proudly hang from the review mirror of their Trans-Am, circa 1987. Eek! The mint was the only saving grace. Whatever, I chalked it up to an experience...and it gave me more time to look at the menu.

After a few relaxing puffs, a few laughs about how cool we were to be smoking hookahs on a week night and few more glances at the menu, we decided to start with the Chef's Special Mediterranean Plate; an appetizer combo of all the faves - hummus, tabbouleh, babaganush, Greek salad, falafel, stuffed grape leaves, chicken and beef shawarma with a side of pita bread. Wow! We also ordered the fried eggplant with pomegranate sauce, it sounded too good to pass up. We told the waitress we'd start with that and order more if we were still hungry.

When the food arrived I was pretty impressed with most of it. It looked appealing and the portions were nice. The flavor and consistency of the hummus and babaganush were exquisite; thick, creamy and perfectly seasoned. The falafel were tasty too. They had been fried to a healthy, crunchy brown.

The pitas were crunchy too, but not in a good way. It was as if they had been exposed to air all night. The pomegranate eggplant, which I was totally excited about, was super saturated in oil and barely edible. Even my hungry companion couldn't stomach the greasy dish. The chicken and beef shawarma was overcooked and crusty, like it was from the bottom of the barrel, scraped off for the last order of the evening. It all tasted like the stuff that would have gone into the garbage if we hadn't ordered it. Sure, they were nearing closing time, but If I'm gonna get half-assed food, I would expect to pay half price!

My dining companion was still hungry after our apps had arrived, but we sort of lost track of time. Promptly at 9:59pm the waitress came over with our check. Although I'm a stickler for allowing paying customers to live out their welcome when they appropriately arrive during posted business hours, I can understand if a waiter needs to round up the troops by asking, "The kitchen is about to close, would you like to order anything else?" This did not happen.

I actually liked our waitress. She was sweet and attentive. However, she dropped that check like a hot cake and told us that, while we were welcome to take our time, they needed to run the reports. A few minutes after giving her our credit cards (upon request) and then filling out the tip (upon another immediate request) the lights in the restaurant were suddenly turned off. Hookahed, hungry and half a minute past closing, we felt alienated and unwelcome. Aside from the obvious, this also meant we couldn't refill our drinks or even use the bathrooms.

At 10:15pm the owner (or manager, either way it was bad business) escorted the staff out the front door and actually pulled her car up, along side the patio where we and the other two customers were sitting. She got out of her car, helped the buss boy lock up and essentially waited for us to leave. Clearly there was no more food, but what about more Hookah smoking - something we had already paid for? Oh, we got the point.

P.S. The food's alright, but the service left a bad taste in my mouth. If a restaurant's open until 10pm, that doesn't mean they should kick customers out at 10:01. Your diners are more than guests, the pay for a product and a service.

Star Pizza - Give it a Try

The Skinny: They make "whole wheat crust" taste more heavenly than healthy.

The Fat: I’ll let you in on a little secret, I’m a creature of habit. When visiting a new restaurant, my goal is to find a gem on the menu that drives me wild and order it every time thereafter. On the other hand, if I happen to get something mediocre, I keep trying, now and again, until I’m floored or disgusted. It’s pretty simple, I’m all or nothing. Luckily I found my gem on the first go-a-round. Five years running, I love Star Pizza every time.

Joe’s Pizza’s (insert angelic song here)! On a hand tossed crust this pizza is the bomb. It’s topped with sauteed spinach, roasted garlic and a ridiculous amount of gooey mozzarella. It’s not something you want to eat on a date, unless you just don’t care who you’re kissing. Order this pie with a Greek salad (any salad is enough to share) and it’s pretty much all you need to get fat and happy.

You can get any of their pies on white or whole wheat crust (chose whole wheat.) And yes, I tend to be a veggie lover when it comes to pizza; Star Pizza’s got the corner on that! But fear not - this is not a tree hugger pizza shack. They have many a meatier option and will gladly make a "half & half" pizza for those of us who rub elbows with the carnivorous type.

As it is with every decent pizzeria, Star Pizza offers some meaty, fail safe toppings like pepperoni, bacon, sausage and ham in practically any combination a meat lover can think of. But, everyone knows that "Pizza + Thinking = What’s the Point?" The thing is, this gourmet joint designed such creative combinations that one needn’t even think too hard. Just check out their menu, it’s perfectly planned to accommodate the lot of us.

If you want to dine in, there are two great locations. The original location is close to 59 and Shepard. It’s based in a quaint, two story house that’s been slinging out pies since 1976. The newer location is just on the edge of The Heights, right on Washington.

The restaurant service is just what you’d expect. They’re kind, they say hello, they get your order and they serve you up some fine food. It’s pizza, ya’ll. Just go and get it.

P.S. If you can’t make it in, the delivery service is friendly and fast. So, if you’re lucky enough to live anywhere near their delivery range, having pizza delivered from any other place is a shame.

Locations: #1 2111 Norfolk (near Shepard and 59)
#2 3600 Washington (The Heights)